For those of you who are my friends/family and don't know what to do with me in my situation... here are the guidelines from my "Attacking Anxiety/Depression" (by Midwest Center for Anxiety and Stress) workbook.
Things you should do:
1. Praise often. For even the smallest successes. Your encouragement is extremely important. Praise the participant for even trying.
2. Encourage his/her independence. Let them "go it alone" whenever and wherever possible, but only if he/she is ready.
3. Compliment the participant for his/her progress as far as attitude is concerned. He/she is the last one to notice how they are changing for the positive. Be sure you point it out.
4. If he/she wants you to go along as they practice his/her avoiding situations - such as driving, shopping, etc. - go with them. But allow him/her some distance, all the while letting him/her know you are there to assist and support them.
5. If you are in a situation where the anxious partner begins to feel panicky and anxious, try to help him/her by reassuring them that it is just anxiety. Remind him/her that they are not drying, going crazy or having a heart attack. Reassure him/her that there is no reason to run. There is no safe place. Then distract him/her by showing things to them, using humor or talking about something that they are interested in. Let him/her know that they will be okay, but do not make a big deal out of the fear and panic.
6. Let your anxious partner have a big hand in the decision-making process - where you are going, how long you will stay and how you will get there and back. Let your partner feel like he/she is in control of the situation to some extent. He/she will be more comfortable and probably stay longer.
7. If your anxious partner feels discouraged or depressed about his/her progress, give them reassurance that they are doing well and that it takes time.
8. STAY POSITIVE.
Things you should NOT do:
1. Do not make fun of this condition. Never be sarcastic about it.
2. Do not monitor his/her progress by constantly asking how he/she is doing or saying, "Shouldn't you be doing this or that by now?" This will only make him/her feel like they are not living up to your expectations. It will make the participant very anxious.
3. Do not tell other people about his/her condition. If your partner wants someone to know about it, it is their right to tell them.
4. Do not baby him/her. Be supportive and compassionate.
5. Do not get angry over his/her fears and attacks. He/she really cannot help it when they feel this way. The longer you treat him/her badly or make them feel guilty, the longer it will last.
6. If he/she is having a panic attack while you are with him/her, do not suggest leaving, going home or to the hospital. This will only make them say they need to. Distract them as mentioned earlier.
7. Do not read his/her materials. This program is theirs alone - unless he/she wants to share it with you. Then, by all means, take interest.
8. Don't be too concerned if he/she seems to change into someone who seems a little angry or selfish at first. That will change. It's just that he/she realizes for the first time that he/she is allowed to be angry and selfish at times and people will still love him/her. He/she will find a happy medium. Praise your partner for being assertive.
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